


See You Soon

by how_about_no



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Answer Phone, Car Accident, Hospital, M/M, Memories, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Suicidal Harry, Suicide, i'd like to start by saying I'm sorry, it's just very sad, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:22:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4905313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_about_no/pseuds/how_about_no
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry’s never going to see his crinkly eyed smile or hear one of his ridiculous jokes. He’s never going to kiss him goodnight or make him a bitter cup of tea in the morning, maybe a coffee if Lou’s feeling extra grouchy. No more late night cuddles or home cooked meals where Louis tries to help but just ends up burning something then observing with stupid commentary. Gone are the days where Louis grumpily huffed around the flat after work so Harry would kiss all over his face until the older boy giggled and cheer up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See You Soon

 

“Heya, Haz,” Louis’ voice crackles down the line, “Running a little late, traffic’s killer. Worry not, though, I shouldn’t be more than an hour and we can get started on that fabulous dinner of yours. 5 years, eh? Just a couple of teenagers fucking around end up two men who love each other with all their hearts. Fucks me up if I’m honest,” He laughs, “Could not be happier to be with you, you curly haired cherub. Right, got to go, the traffic’s moving and I’m not one for breaking the law. Love you, babe. See you soon.”

BEEP

Harry drops the phone to the floor and turns into Jay’s embrace, finally letting go and crying into her neck as she cries into his.

_See you soon._

You will, Louis.

You will.

 

“You’ll be alright, won’t you?” Jay looks at him earnestly when she drops him off at their- _no_ \- his flat.

“I will be.” It isn’t technically a lie, but he has a feeling his and Jay’s definitions of ‘alright’ are very different.

“He would want you to be, you know.” _He would want me with him_ is what Harry wants to reply.

“I know.” Is what he says instead, trying to smile at the woman who has just lost her son. It’s a good thing really, Harry can’t stand to look at her and see the ghost of Louis in her eyes. They exchange their goodbyes and Harry shuts the door behind her, resting his forehead against it. His heart is beating out of his chest but feels like it’s slowing. Maybe he doesn’t have to do anything, maybe his heart will just give out on him.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

No, Harry has to do this himself.

He uses what strength he has left to push himself off the door and drag himself to their- _his_ sofa. Looking around the room makes the wound in heart feel deeper and mangled, like twisting the knife. There are pictures everywhere. Why did they like to take so many _pictures?_

One from the time when they went to Alton Towers and Louis’ hair was so messed up by the rollercoaster he pretty much threatened a kid to take a picture of them because he found it hilarious. Harry is just next to him, smiling fondly with crinkles by his eyes. There’s another from when they spent Christmas with Louis’ family, his sisters surrounding them, all of them with matching jumpers and smiles. It’s not hard to remember what Louis said to him that day ‘ _One day we’re gunna have kids, Haz. Make our own little traditions and Christmas tree.’ ‘You can be the star on top, Lou.’_

On the mantelpiece, there’s one from a few months ago at Halloween. They dressed up as Sandy and Danny from _Grease_ ‘ _Just an excuse to wear a leather jacket, really.’_ Louis had giggled into his mouth when they got ‘distracted’ from getting dressed.

Harry doesn’t notice he’s crying before he’s gasping for air with tears streaming down his face. His Louis is _gone._

He’s never going to see his crinkly eyed smile or hear one of his ridiculous jokes. He’s never going to kiss him goodnight or make him a bitter cup of tea in the morning, maybe a coffee if Lou’s feeling extra grouchy. No more late night cuddles or home cooked meals where Louis tries to help but just ends up burning something then observing with stupid commentary. Gone are the days where Louis grumpily huffed around the flat after work so Harry would kiss all over his face until the older boy giggled and cheer up.

Only a few days ago, they were going to celebrate their anniversary. Harry had spent all evening cooking their meal, chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham (Louis’ favourite). Then it started getting later. Just when Harry started panicking, he got a call from him, but missed it because he was in the bathroom. He didn’t get a chance to listen to the message.

He got another call.

 _‘Harry! Thank God you answered. It’s Louis, he’s in hospital and he’s really hurt. Please’_ Jay’s voice shook, _‘I need you here. He would’ve wanted you here’_

Everything was a blur of white walls, white coats and beeping after that. Until Harry listened to the message and everything came crashing down around him and he couldn’t keep it together anymore.

He can’t keep it together anymore.

“Fuck!” He picks up a glass from the table and slings it at the wall on the other side of the room. It hits a picture from a holiday in Venice. It falls the same time Harry does, ripping at his hair and trying not to scream. Taking in a breath, he gets up again. He robotically cleans up the broken glass and carefully doesn't look at the picture as he puts it on the table next to the sofa. He’s just holding the dustpan over the bin when something glints in his eye. A shard of glass that looks like a blade stands out from the others, reflecting the one light Harry has on into his eye.

He takes it and pours the rest into the bin.

Tightening his fist, he holds out his arm and carves a wonky stripe into the wallpaper he and Louis picked out around 2 years ago as he walks to their- _his_ bedroom. There’s the dresser he and Louis bought, the sheets Louis got a month ago, more _pictures._

Why does Louis have to be _everywhere?_

Harry shouts. He shouts and he throws shit. He shouts and he throws shit and he shreds the bedding. He shouts and he throws shit and he shreds the bedding and he throws the pictures at the wall, constantly tightening his fist and relishing in the slice he feels in his palm.

“Fuck you!” Fuck Louis for leaving him, fuck Louis for making him feel like his life is perfect. Fuck Louis for making Harry seem special and loved. Fuck Louis for dying and leaving Harry to fend for himself when he always promised they would look after each other, “Fuck you.” His anger drains out of him and into the carpet Louis said brought out his eyes. Dropping to his knees, his hands find his hair and he screams until his throat is hoarse and his eyes dry out.

He finally loosens his fist and lets the shard of glass fall to the ground in front of him. How easy would it be to end it all? How simple it would be to take the jagged piece of a long gone memory and slice his veins until there’s nothing left but an empty shell.

He picks up the glass.

Louis’ voice rings in his ears as he runs the bath ‘ _You and me forever, right?’ ‘Forever, Lou. I promise’_

Promises made by teenagers are fragile things. Harry isn’t going to break it even though Louis did.

He strips out of his too loose T shirt and too tight jeans. It feels like he’s peeling of a layer of skin, leaving him bare and open, stood naked in the bathroom where he and Louis made love just a few days before.

_See you soon._

Shard in one hand, he lowers himself into the boiling water, grimacing when his skin starts to redden at the temperature. He sinks so he’s submerged up to his neck and rests his arm, wrist up, on the edge of the tub.

“It’s going to be okay,” Harry whispers into the silence, taking the shard to his right wrist, “Everything is going to be alright.”

When blood is cascading to the tiled floor in red rivulets, Harry tips his head back and sighs, revelling in the pain.

“Love.” Green eyes open and meet blue.

“Lou?” Harry’s face is wet with a mixture of tears, sweat and blood as he tries to push himself into a seating position. He quickly falls back down, weak from blood loss.

“Hello stranger,” Louis smiles serenely, his eyes glinting, “Everything is going to be alright, babe. See you soon.” A small hand comes to Harry’s head and slowly pushes him into the water, little fingers curling into his hair, almost gentle in its touch.

Harry sees sparkling blue and hears the giggles during their first kiss before everything fades to black.

**Author's Note:**

> i am very very sorry
> 
> tumblr is stilesmakesmestrong send me hate for writing this


End file.
